Wednesday, March 3, 2010

From Signs of Love to Words.... Our Journey Part 2

The day after the dinner party I immediatly went to the local book store and searched for books that would help him. Well books that I thought would help him. I picked up a book called "First 100 Words", this book was suppose to show the picture and we would say the word and he would mimic. I sat with this book for weeks, I placed it in front of him and he would look and point at the pictures but all he would say was "ahhhahaahh hahhhaaahhha." It was as though we was reading it and saying the animals names but I had no idea what he was really saying.

It is a vivid memory I have sitting at the edge of his bed crying, I asked him to just please try to say something... anything daddy, mommy anything. There were days where he would make a sound that sounded like daddy and I would call my husband just so happy " he said daddy, he said it he is talking!" and then I would put the phone on speaker and my husband would say "hi buddy, it's daddy" and in return get "aaahhhaahhaa hhaaahhhaaah"

I had talked to lots of parents and Dr's and they all said the same, "just you wait, he will turn 2 and bam! He will be talking and you will wish he was quiet again." I honestly believed them, so when his 2nd birthday came around I had high hopes, this was the year, he will turn 2 and days later he will be speaking. I found myself thinking "wouldn't it be so awesome if he just up and started to talk at his birthday party? That would be great!" I had so many expectations. Joshua's 2nd birthday came and went, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and yet we waited. When Joshua was 26 months old we welcomed our little girl into the world, Joshua thought nothing of her, he even packed her diaper bag and baby seat and set it at the door when she was 3 days old. He was not impressed that he had to share his time with this thing.

When Peyton was 10 days old I noticed that she was grey when she would sleep, I took her to the Dr, and he said it was nothing, just go home. Well I trusted my insticts, and while the details are all for another post about Peyton, I will tell you that I took her to the hospital. I took her one night because these "grey spells" just seemed to get worse, and I had a gut feeling, one that I had not listened to very well with Joshua. But I was not going to doubt myself this time, I insisted that she was admitted, they did however we were released the next day. Out of fear something would happen, I stayed up all night watching and waiting... making sure that she was breathing. I finally met a Pediatrician for Peyton and when I saw him he asked why I was so tired. I explained that I had a feeling something was wrong, that she would die while I slept and I wouldn't know until it was too late, so I stay up all night every night watching her. This Dr listened, he admitted her to the hospital and that night in the hospital I slept, for the first time in 3 days! That morning at 3am Peyton coded, she had stopped breathing! I begged with God, I sat on the floor and begged, I offered everything I had, but at that point I only had a voice I promised if she made it through I would be and advocate for my kids and I find out what was wrong and I would scream it from the roof tops so that other parents wouldn't have to go through what I was. Peyton was sent to Childrens Hospital in Vancouver where we lived for 6 weeks, and I talked, asked questions, cried, sobbed, begged and pleaded with Dr's and nurses and we got our answer, Peyton had Epilepsy.

Once we received the diagnosis that Peyton had Epilepsy I immediatly asked if it was possible that Joshua had it and we just didn't notice it. Was that the reason he wasn't speaking? Did I have a gene that I passed down that gave my kids seizures and that was why he didn't talk?

I had met AMAZING Dr's and I used them to my advantage, I would ask them to look at Joshua, I would ask their opinion. I was fully ready to be turned down but I never was. I met a neurologist for Peyton and she told me to get a Pediatrician for Joshua, because we needed to get him tested as soon as possible.

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