I spent the day talking to my lawyer about my car accident... and the only thing that I keep thinking about is... This all isn't fair.
When we were kids we would listen to our parents and they would say "no, we will give the toy to Timmy and we will share, why? because thats fair" We learn a word that seems to hold so much weight in our minds, yet as adults we only know the word unfair as it is the world we live in.
It is unfair to watch a mother bury her baby, unfair for a baby to loose it's mother or father, unfair that there is disease and sickness and dispear. It is unfair that families go hungry while others throw unused food away. It is unfair that a child has a disability of any shape or form, and that there is no help at times.
I remember watching Peyton and praying that she would be okay, and trying to not be angry, how is it fair? Why do I have a little boy who wants so desperatly to talk and can't and a daughter who is sick and fighting? How is this fair? What did I do? I think that the idea of fairness represents that good people have good things happen to them, and bad people have bad things happen. In reality good and bad will happen to all of us, if something bad happenes it isn't punishment, or karma, just life.
If I could I would make the world a fair place. Mom's would never bury their babies, children would always grow up with both parents, all would have food and education and clothing. Warm beds and warm hugs.
Life would be fair.
But it isn't.